Superiority Complex (Too Sexy For My Shirt)
by Draco Dormiens
Summary: Draco is in a very good mood, and decides to play with the minds of certain people.


Superiority Complex  
_(Or, I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt)_

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or make any money off them, unfortunately. Draco would be fun to own.

Note: Best read while listening to Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy", which I also do not own.

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Draco Malfoy hummed quietly to himself as he made his way to Potions class. Some people gave him strange looks as he passed, but what did he care? He was _Draco_. He was _much_ better than they were. He just contined walking, singing to himself in his head.

'I'm.. too sexy for my shirt.. too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.. '

Of course, he was twenty minutes late for Potions. Snape didn't care. Draco pushed the door to the dungeon open and strolled in. "Hi, Professor," he said casually, as if he didn't notice the whole class glaring at him. He slipped into his seat and pulled his books out. Snape nodded in his direction and continued teaching.

Across the room, Ron rolled his eyes and leaned towards Harry. "Honestly, he thinks he owns the whole place, and Snape lets him get away with that! He's so unfair," he whispered, shooting glares at the blond, who was chewing thoughtfully on his quill. Harry just nodded and continued scribbling down notes. Ron rolled his eyes again and leaned over to complain to Hermione. Hermione told him to shut up, so Ron sat back in his seat, sulking.

Draco preened. 'I love being me,' he thought smugly. He didn't really know why, but today he found himself being more self-absorbed than normal. It was loads of fun, and he intended to milk this mood for all he could get out of it.

When Potions class ended, Snape watched his charges rush out of the room, and scowled. Draco took his time, putting his things away carefully, and saluted to the professor before he left.

A group of fourth-year Hufflepuff girls giggled and eyed him as he sauntered past. Draco _would_ have winked at them, just because he was feeling so very good-looking, but.. well, they were Hufflepuffs. 'Nuff said. He continued walking, rounded a corner, and bumped straight into his arch-nemesis. 

Harry cursed darkly under his breath, in a very un-Gryffindor-like manner, and knelt down to pick up the stuff that had fallen from his bag. Draco raised an eyebrow, amused, and lazily charmed his books back into his bag. He was finished much faster than Potter, and debated with himself for a moment, before helping Harry. This earned him more than one astonished look, but he ignored that and waited until Potter stood up.

Harry brushed himself off, glaring at Draco. "Why'd you do that, Malfoy?"

"Do what, Harry? Bump into you, or help you with your books?" Draco leaned against a wall, feeling utterly superior, and loving every second of it.

Harry blinked when he heard his name. "Both, I guess," he stammered, caught off-guard for a second.

Draco's mouth curved into a smile. "I didn't bump into you on purpose, Potter. Have a nice day." He continued walking down the hall, leaving an astonished Harry behind him.

Ron ran up to Harry, having seen most of what happened. "What was that?" he demanded.

Harry shook his head, still gaping. "I don't quite know myself, Ron. I think someone took over Malfoy's body. He _never_ says 'have a nice day' to _anyone_."

Draco smirked as he sauntered down the hall. Just to further amaze and infuriate Potter, he winked at a Ravenclaw girl passing by, and said "Have a nice day," making sure to speak loudly enough so that both the Weasel and Potter could hear. He refrained from laughing as he heard their jaws drop.

Crabbe and Goyle fell into step beside him, but he waved them off. "I feel like conversing with someone intelligent today, thanks," he said with a smirk, and walked away from them. Charms next, with Gryffindor. Another chance to make Potter look like a fish. Oh yes, today was a _very_ good day.

Half a minute before Charms began, Draco slid smoothly into his seat, and felt someone looking at him. He turned, and his eyes met bright-green ones, which looked utterly confused. He decided that, since today was such a good day, he would add to Potter's confusion instead of making his life a living hell. He kept his eyes on Harry's, watching the confusion grow, and suddenly smiled. He winked. Harry's mouth dropped open, and Draco turned away, cackling internally.

Harry stared in amazement at his arch-nemesis. Ron leaned over, looking worried. "Harry, what is it?" he whispered urgently, glancing at Draco. "Did he do something?"

"I – don't think he's acting normally, Ron," Harry said weakly, wondering which pod person was currently inhabiting his arch-rival's mind. Ron snorted. "I noticed that already."

Charms went by quickly. Draco used the time to preen, once he remembered that he had brought his mirror with him. He gelled back a tiny strand of hair that had escaped from its position, and smiled. He looked _good_. _Very_ good. He settled back into his seat, eyeing a small fly that was buzzing around his desk. He cast a charm on it, making it buzz continuously around Flitwick's head instead. The professor looked annoyed, and it took all of Draco's self-restraint (he really didn't have much of that anyway) to not laugh. 

The fly was still buzzing around Flitwick's head by the time Draco strolled out of the classroom. He ran a hand through his white-blond hair, which immediately moved back into its former position, thanks to a neat little charm he had discovered a while back.

Draco smiled. Lunchtime next. Lunch was his favorite time of day, besides Potions class. He strolled to the Great Hall, anticipating yet another wonderful meal. 'Thank god for house elves,' he thought to himself as he entered the Hall. He smirked. Most of the students were watching him, although they were trying to disguise it. The Gryffindors pointed surreptitiously and whispered.

"Yes, REALLY weird," whispered Harry to Fred. The redhead furrowed his brow. "Being nice? Come on, you're kidding me, Harry." 

Harry shook his head. "Try him. He's being decent today."

Fred stood up, and waved. "Oy! Malfoy! Come eat over here for a change!" He fully expected to be refused rudely, and was floored when the blond boy changed course and walked toward the Gryffindor table.

"Told you," Harry whispered. The Slytherins stared at their poster boy, who was in the process of taking the seat across from Harry. Draco smiled at the astonished Gryffindors around him, and picked up his cup. "Nice of you to invite me," he said to Fred, who just nodded, slack-jawed. 

The Great Hall was much, much quieter than normal. Draco enjoyed confusing the whole student body, and didn't acknowledge the stares. He ate his lunch quietly, plotting his afternoon. Hermione eyed him warily, no doubt wondering when the next Mudblood comment would be. Draco knew this.

"Have you tried the chicken, Hermione? It's delicious," he said with a slightly sadistic grin, hearing George choke on his salad. Hermione nodded mutely. "Good.. it's good.. " she agreed weakly. 

Draco rose from the table ten minutes later. He nodded to the Gryffindors. "It was a pleasure," he said with a smile, before lazily strolling out of the Hall. The whole Hall stared after him, and the moment he exited, a burst of conversation reached his ears. Most of it was about his strange behaviour. He resisted the urge to cackle, knowing that a midday cackle would be less fun than an end-of-day cackle. So he merely smirked and made his way to the Slytherin dorms.

The Muggle song that he had become attached to was still sounding in his head. 'I'm.. too sexy for Milan.. too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan,' he hummed to himself. He reached the statue leading to the Slytherin common room without meeting anyone else, much to his disappointment. "I hate you," he told the statue, which grimaced and let him in. Draco loved the passwords that this year's prefect came up with. He thought that they were inspired, really.

The few Slytherins that were gathered in the room stared warily at him. He smirked at them and sauntered up to his room. Crabbe and Goyle were inside, playing a very botched game of cards. Draco smirked again. "Hello," he said. "Get out." 

Crabbe and Goyle did so, quite quickly. They knew Draco's temper well. Draco shut the door after them, not quite knowing why he had ordered them out, but loving the fact that they obeyed him. He sauntered over to his mirror, and pulled out his comb.

Draco spent the half-hour until afternoon classes started doing his hair and getting into fresh robes. He always made a point to come back to class after lunch in perfect condition. He was Draco; nothing less than perfection would suffice.

He came to Transfiguration class ten minutes late. What could he say? A wisp of hair had escaped the charm, and he had had to detour to a washroom to fix it. McGonagall gave him a death glare when he sauntered in. "Ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy, for being late." 

Draco nodded, and sat down. "Sorry, Professor." 

McGonagall did a double-take, and Potter whirled around in his seat to gape at Draco. Ron stared. "Malfoy just _apologized_, Harry!" he whispered.

Draco mentally cackled at the reaction his classmates were giving him. Of course, he would revert to his normal self tomorrow, but for today, it was hilarious. One of his hobbies had always been spreading chaos, but he had never thought of doing this before. 'Pure genius,' he thought, giving himself a mental pat on the back.

It took McGonagall half a minute to recover and continue her lecture. Draco was good at Transfiguration, although he rarely let it show, so he got through the class with no problems and a few more good fish faces from Potter.

Before entering the Great Hall for dinner, he calculated which House it would be strangest to sit at. 'Hufflepuff,' he thought, and grimaced. 'No, wouldn't put myself through that for a simple prank. Ravenclaw.' He nodded in satisfaction and ambled in. 

The students fixed their attention on him. Draco smiled to the student body and made his way over to Padma Patil, who gaped and blushed when he sat down next to her. 

He was disgustingly civil during dinner. He could see Crabbe and Goyle staring at him, incredibly stupid expressions on their large, pig-like faces. Of course, he ignored them, and made a note to try some intelligence charms on them when he got back to the dorms. 'If I did that, maybe they'd have the IQ of a pig, as well as the faces,' he mused silently. 

It didn't quite work as Draco had thought, but they did seem slightly less dull when he tried it. He tested it by setting up a chessboard. It took six intelligence charms for Goyle to realize that it was a chessboard, and by that time, Draco was bored. He dismissed them with a wave of his hand and challenged the nearest Slytherin to a game.

Of course, he won. How could he not? He was _Draco Malfoy_. He left the poor, confused third-year to stare at the board and wonder what had gone wrong, and went back to his room. He finished his homework in half an hour, and wasted the rest of his time experimenting with charms. Crabbe ended up with green-and-yellow streaked hair, and Goyle stared mutely at his reflection, which sported an elephant's trunk where his nose once was. Draco snickered and got changed for bed.

Then, and only then, did he allow himself a good laugh over the day's activities. No doubt Potter was lying in bed, terribly confused. The mental image made him laugh even harder.

"And I'm.. too sexy for this song," he murmured, grinning.

"What?" Crabbe inquired intelligently.

"Nothing." Draco smiled and went to sleep.

It had been a _good_ day. 


End file.
